Doctor Who Fanfiction

On Sex and the Art of Arse-Dialing
Author: Milady Dragon
Series: On-Verse
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jack/Ianto; Amy/Rory; Eleventh Doctor/River, Jack/Ianto/TARDIS (mentioned)
Warning: I no longer warn for crack, because with these that's a given.  But I will for random phone dialing, strange movie references,  the Doctor failing to be impressive, mentions of Rory contributing to the delinquency of a TARDIS and TARDISpreg (this should be a sub-genre, it really should be),
Spoilers: None really
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood, I would have treated it better.  I also don't own Doctor Who, but Stephen Moffatt actually takes care of it quite nicely.
Author's Note  I haven't visited this universe in a while, and it felt like coming home...albeit a really strange and off-kilter home that needs to be visited by a licensed exorcist.  I have to thank the usual suspects for this plot bunny, but especially bookwrm89 , and she knows why.  This does take place after On What to do With a Drunken TARDIS, with a couple of obvious mentions of that story.  I'm also writing this as one of my Long Live Bingo prompts, Wild Card, and I've chosen "Crack!fic".  Which this is.  But you all already knew that. 


Summary:  The TARDIS is getting some very strange phone calls...


The Insanity is This Way...